My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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