He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
