everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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