We're like a lot better than the average bears
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i now understand why vodka
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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