I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
