You work out of a Hotel?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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