I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
