I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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