yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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