I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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