we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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