How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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