So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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