if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
