The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
