Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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