Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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