WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
