You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
