plz talk dirty to me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
