I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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