Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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