Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
