It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
