WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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