I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
