omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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