Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
