it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
