My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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