just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
