Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
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