i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
