Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize