so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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