It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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