No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
