you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
