I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Less talking, more tequila
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
