Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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