But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!