then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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