My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
