just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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