I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
