We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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