You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
