Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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