do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
