I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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