Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
