id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
