he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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