Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
