I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
