Sry I called you an 8
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
