You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
