Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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