just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
