Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
