It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
