He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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